Can You Find Me Now?

It's not exactly a secret in my amorphous blob of a social circle that my internal compass isn't quite aligned properly... if, in fact, I have one at all.

Just last week, I went literally down the street like half a mile to get my oil changed but got disoriented turning around in the parking lot, went the wrong way and ended up on all sorts of back roads and eventually began to approach my apartment from the complete opposite direction...

It's a gift, what can I say?

On the one side, I find a lot of cool stuff that way. Once, I got lost in Indianola going to the balloon festival and ended up ON a farm (really, ON a farm) with cute kitties running around. That same trip I ended up on a gravel road and there was a tiny baby deer complete with white spots curled up in the grass. Adorable, right?

I've also stumbled upon major shopping malls, restaurants, concert venues, and more than one massive body of water. And the cool thing is I'm always able to find my way home again. Granted, I may need to fill up with gas along the way and I'm sure I've added at least 1,000 unnecessary miles on my car because of these little, ah, excursions, but it's rewarding to make it back home all on my own.

On the down side, if I have somewhere important to be and some sort of appointment to keep, getting lost isn't quite so fun. And, more to the point, most days I don't have the time to aimlessly drive around.

So for my birthday my parents bought me a Tom-Tom. Side note: apparently now is the time to invest in GPS thing for your car. Prices are dropping thanks to fancy new doohickeys on them there do-it-all-for-you phones.

When I opened it, they teased me and said the navigation voice was Snoop Dogg. They were kidding, but apparently on one special model of GPS, he really DOES do the navigation voice. I can just hear him now...

"Yo, homie. Take a left."

Heck, if Snoop Dogg can navigate, I wonder who else can do it? I think Spock would be awesome.

"Driver, that turn was illogical."

Samuel L. Jackson, perhaps?

"Take a mother-f***in' right at the mother-f***in' light."

Yoda, even.

"Reached your destination, you have."

Captain Picard:

"To boldly drive where you've never driven before..."

Dug, from UP

"I love you, master. Turn le.. SQUIRREL!"

Dori

"You've selected P. Sherman 42 Wallaby Way, Sydney. Is that correct?"
"No"
"Hi, I'm Dori.."

Alright, I'll stop there. Sadly, none of those were options, but I did pick a nice lady named Susan, who has so far been successful in directing my parents from the house to the Denver Center of the Performing Arts with striking accuracy.

We'll see how she does in Des Moines.