Face it like a grown up, I guess it's time to own up... I'm in love with Iowa

I’m in love. It’s a forbidden love, too. People like me aren’t supposed to love like this. At least that’s certainly the message I’m picking up.

This isn’t a public declaration of love for a person (I doubt I’d have the nerve to write a blog about that). No, this is a public declaration of love for a place.

You see, I love Iowa. Have you gasped yet? Did you have to do a double-take and read that line again? Did you spit your drink out? Have you slipped out of your chair with your mouth hanging open in disbelief? Well, compose yourself and pay attention!

This is not a joke and to be honest, I’m really quite sick of kids hating on Iowa. Some of them are Iowans who are, to say the least, anxious to move on to bigger and better things. But the rest of them are out-of-staters like myself who come in to Iowa with a bad attitude and try desperately to hang on to it.

Why? Why do people hate it here? To some extent I can understand. I was there. I moved here from Colorado and I wasn’t too jazzed about it -- at all. I would talk to my friends who would say “Why Iowa” with as much distain as they could muster. I hated it simply because it wasn’t Colorado. I thought it was boring and dull and I didn’t want any part of it. So maybe part of this unsubstantiated disgust with the state is simply because some people are vehemently trying to deny that Iowa, which is so very inferior to their state, is now home.

And what’s worse is that nobody seems willing to change their negative opinion. Sometimes I think people love the fact they hate Iowa more than they actually hate Iowa. I think they just want to blame Iowa, instead of themselves, for their boredom and unhappiness when, in reality, there isn’t that much less to do here than in other states.

I just don’t understand what specifically people hate about this place.

I know! It MUST be the natural beauty, with those amazing pink and orange sunsets, the way the leaves change in the fall, those luscious fields of corn, those tiny blue wildflowers that grow in the medians during the summers, the over abundance of exotic butterflies, and those charming family farms.

Or is it because we’re in the very epicenter of political debates and presidential campaigns? You know, those that provide us with a multitude of opportunities to not only fulfill our role as responsible citizens, but also gain valuable working experience?

Nope, that’s not it. I bet it’s because of that resounding Midwestern cliché that “everyone out here is so nice.” Some stereotypes, my friends, are true. I hate that. Seriously, do I HAVE to be treated like an actual person every time I walk into the store instead of just a run-of-the-mill customer? And, PLEASE, can’t I just walk down the street without random strangers smiling at me? Come on.

It could be that. Or it could be because they’re ashamed to be in the land so many famous people came out of. Buffalo Bill, Johnny Carson, John Wayne, Grace Pearl Ingalls, the Ringling Brothers and humorist Bill Bryson come instantly to mind.
Or are they upset that Iowa revolutionizing the fuel industry by producing E85 Ethanol? Gosh! I HATE the idea of being associated with a state that’s producing biodegradable fuel! Anything but THAT!

Maybe I’ve helped you have a change of heart. Maybe I didn’t convince you. Regardless, the sooner you accept the fact you live in Iowa now and there’s nothing you can do about it, the sooner you can start appreciating it for the wonderful place it is and, I don’t know, actually be happy here. Crazy concept, I know. And for those of you who don’t care for my opinion of Iowa and are going to keep on hatin’, that’s totally up to you. Just don’t get too jealous when the people around you are enjoying themselves and you’re still unhappy.