Considering I have a blog, I don't tend to spend a lot of time reading other blogs. I feel that that's probably a little... hypocritical or unsportsmanlike or something. I guess I just have short attention span for that sort of thing.
Anyway, I do find myself from time to time perusing the bloggosphere and there's one particular type of blog that just irritates me to no end.
THE NEWLYWED BLOG
Everyday I see more and more of my Facebook friends getting engaged, then married, then launching a blog. Like it's just the natural thing to do or something.
I shouldn't make a blanket statement and say they're all intolerable, but it's pretty close.
One gal I'm friends with wrote this massive entry and literally said (and I'm going to find the post right now so I can get it exactly right) "I pity all girls who don't have a man in their lives this Valentine's Day. It must be horrible to not have someone special to bring you breakfast in bed and do the dishes like Ryan did. We have such exciting and romantic plans for later; I'll pray for all the single gals out there who are lonely. Maybe one day, ladies!"
I don't even know where to start with that one. I really, really, REALLY don't.
And I'm just so sick of their petty newlywed arguments.
"John thinks we should paint the kitchen beige, but I really want to paint it tan! Neither of us will compromise! Newlywed life is SO hard!"
Yeah, that must be rough. Devastating earthquakes. Economic recession. Those definitely pale in comparison.
I don't want to suggest that newlywed life doesn't present challenges; I'm certain that it does. That being said, all I know is that most of what I'm reading about on these blogs is absolutely stupid. It's vacuous and mindbogglingly ridiculous.
Another gal I know blogged about how much her wedding cost and seemed freakishly proud to have spent so much money on these incredibly frivolous things.
It's frustrating.
Sunday, February 28, 2010
Saturday, February 27, 2010
78 days and counting
Mood: giddy!
Ok, ok, ok. Here we go!! Whee!!!
I just got back from the APO Sectional Conference at Simpson College in Indianola, Iowa. It was AWESOME. I love, LOVE, LOVE APO conferences.
We get to meet brothers from other chapters and learn stuff and it's just SO much fun.
I got to run two sessions and facilitate a discussion, which was really exciting. As it turns out, I really enjoy doing things like that and I wasn't terribly uncomfortable or anything. So that was totally awesome.
For each presentation I had a presentation buddy from the Iowa State chapter and it was really fun to collaborate with them. They're an awesome group of people and any opportunity to spend time with them should be taken advantage of.
Conferences are just amazing because they make me remember all my good APO feelings - minus drama and stupid stuff and stressful parts. This was my last conference, so it just felt good to have this kind of last hurrah sort of thing.
And now, friends, I collapse from a deliriously delightful combination of exhaustion and pure happiness.
:)
Ok, ok, ok. Here we go!! Whee!!!
I just got back from the APO Sectional Conference at Simpson College in Indianola, Iowa. It was AWESOME. I love, LOVE, LOVE APO conferences.
We get to meet brothers from other chapters and learn stuff and it's just SO much fun.
I got to run two sessions and facilitate a discussion, which was really exciting. As it turns out, I really enjoy doing things like that and I wasn't terribly uncomfortable or anything. So that was totally awesome.
For each presentation I had a presentation buddy from the Iowa State chapter and it was really fun to collaborate with them. They're an awesome group of people and any opportunity to spend time with them should be taken advantage of.
Conferences are just amazing because they make me remember all my good APO feelings - minus drama and stupid stuff and stressful parts. This was my last conference, so it just felt good to have this kind of last hurrah sort of thing.
And now, friends, I collapse from a deliriously delightful combination of exhaustion and pure happiness.
:)
Friday, February 26, 2010
79 days and counting
Mood: bored
Gee, today sure looks beautiful... she sighed as she gazed out her cubicle and through the window. Only six more hours of work...
Gee, today sure looks beautiful... she sighed as she gazed out her cubicle and through the window. Only six more hours of work...
Thursday, February 25, 2010
80 days and counting
I have this boss at one of my internships, his name is Brian, and I realized today that one of my favorite things to do is simply to follow that guy around.
Ok, it's not as creepy as it sounds. It's not like I'm right behind him when he goes to the office supply storage room or down the hall to fill his water bottle. But I follow him to all sorts of places.
Over the summer, I told him I had never been inside the Capitol building so we literally got up and went to see it. It's across the street, so it's not like we did a huge field trip or anything. Apparently you can just walk in and meander around.
Guess what?
IT'S AWESOME! Easily the coolest Capitol building I've ever seen. I think I'll take my parents there next time they come. It's just really cool. And Brian knows a lot of interesting historical facts, which might sound boring, but they can be weird and obscure and I like that.
Today at work my other boss, Al, left for his lunchtime walk, but he wasn't bundled up to go outside. So I asked Brian where he goes and he told me he walks the tunnel system.
The what now?
I didn't believe him at all. That sounds just like something stupid they tell gullible people. So I was pretty skeptical... until he TOOK ME THERE.
We went down all these staircases I never knew existed and then we were IN the tunnel system. Apparently all the buildings in the Capitol complex are connected by these underground tunnels. I felt like I was in the flippin' Chamber of Secrets or something. It was awesome. And a bit shady. But mostly awesome.
So we walked and walked and got a little turned around a couple of times and ended up at the Capitol and decided to just "pop in" to see what the legislature was "up to." Haha. So we went to watch government in action.
Unfortunately, government was at lunch just then. But the field trip was awesome and it beat staring at a computer screen for an hour.
Ok, it's not as creepy as it sounds. It's not like I'm right behind him when he goes to the office supply storage room or down the hall to fill his water bottle. But I follow him to all sorts of places.
Over the summer, I told him I had never been inside the Capitol building so we literally got up and went to see it. It's across the street, so it's not like we did a huge field trip or anything. Apparently you can just walk in and meander around.
Guess what?
IT'S AWESOME! Easily the coolest Capitol building I've ever seen. I think I'll take my parents there next time they come. It's just really cool. And Brian knows a lot of interesting historical facts, which might sound boring, but they can be weird and obscure and I like that.
Today at work my other boss, Al, left for his lunchtime walk, but he wasn't bundled up to go outside. So I asked Brian where he goes and he told me he walks the tunnel system.
The what now?
I didn't believe him at all. That sounds just like something stupid they tell gullible people. So I was pretty skeptical... until he TOOK ME THERE.
We went down all these staircases I never knew existed and then we were IN the tunnel system. Apparently all the buildings in the Capitol complex are connected by these underground tunnels. I felt like I was in the flippin' Chamber of Secrets or something. It was awesome. And a bit shady. But mostly awesome.
So we walked and walked and got a little turned around a couple of times and ended up at the Capitol and decided to just "pop in" to see what the legislature was "up to." Haha. So we went to watch government in action.
Unfortunately, government was at lunch just then. But the field trip was awesome and it beat staring at a computer screen for an hour.
Wednesday, February 24, 2010
81 days and counting
Mood: processing some thoughts...
A few weeks ago I got a facebook message from a friend of mine, asking a bunch of us to come see her speak at one of the Christian groups on campus and tell her story. I've been close friends with this girl since sophomore year of high school and I knew this was a big deal for her because, as popular and loud-mouthy she is, she clams up when she has to speak in front of people. She doesn't like to raise her hand in class or do presentations or any of that.
So this was kind of huge for her and I knew I had to be there.
Most of our little clique from freshman year turned out to see her. None of us had been involved in campus Christian groups (which, I'm sure, is some sort of statistical anomaly in a group of eight or so people), so we were all fairly out of our element, but we were there anyway.
My friend talked about some really terrible things* she had been through, only some of which I knew about after eight years of friendship. The new things she told me (and the thirty other people in the room) scared me, took me off guard, broke my heart and made me cry (and pretty freely, might I add... and in a room full of strangers, no doubt).
But aside from all that I was unspeakably proud of her. I was proud that she was able to get in front of all those people at all, let alone let them in to some of the darkest corners of her life. I admire her so much for that.
It was also heartwarming to see the group from freshman year back together again, not just for social time, but to support a friend who needed us. We all went such different directions and we don't see too much of one another, but our love for this one friend put us back together in a setting extremely foreign to us. But that was a sacrifice we all made. It showed me what people are willing to do for the people they love.
There were lots of hugs that night... probably more than I've ever had in my entire college experience combined (actually, I'm not sure that's an exaggeration... sounds about right to me).
*I'm not doing this to torture you with curiosity. It's her personal experience and she gets to share it with whomever she likes. It's not my history to tell.
A few weeks ago I got a facebook message from a friend of mine, asking a bunch of us to come see her speak at one of the Christian groups on campus and tell her story. I've been close friends with this girl since sophomore year of high school and I knew this was a big deal for her because, as popular and loud-mouthy she is, she clams up when she has to speak in front of people. She doesn't like to raise her hand in class or do presentations or any of that.
So this was kind of huge for her and I knew I had to be there.
Most of our little clique from freshman year turned out to see her. None of us had been involved in campus Christian groups (which, I'm sure, is some sort of statistical anomaly in a group of eight or so people), so we were all fairly out of our element, but we were there anyway.
My friend talked about some really terrible things* she had been through, only some of which I knew about after eight years of friendship. The new things she told me (and the thirty other people in the room) scared me, took me off guard, broke my heart and made me cry (and pretty freely, might I add... and in a room full of strangers, no doubt).
But aside from all that I was unspeakably proud of her. I was proud that she was able to get in front of all those people at all, let alone let them in to some of the darkest corners of her life. I admire her so much for that.
It was also heartwarming to see the group from freshman year back together again, not just for social time, but to support a friend who needed us. We all went such different directions and we don't see too much of one another, but our love for this one friend put us back together in a setting extremely foreign to us. But that was a sacrifice we all made. It showed me what people are willing to do for the people they love.
There were lots of hugs that night... probably more than I've ever had in my entire college experience combined (actually, I'm not sure that's an exaggeration... sounds about right to me).
*I'm not doing this to torture you with curiosity. It's her personal experience and she gets to share it with whomever she likes. It's not my history to tell.
Shout-out
I'm going to take a tiny little time-out from my 100-day countdown to give a shout-out to the person from Cuba City, Wisconsin who reads (or at least visits) the blog almost every day. I have no idea who you are except for the fact that you have awesome taste in blogs. So thanks!
By the way - sorry if I creeped you out. I have a hit counter that allows me to see where my readers are visiting from geographically.
By the way - sorry if I creeped you out. I have a hit counter that allows me to see where my readers are visiting from geographically.
Tuesday, February 23, 2010
82 days and counting
I'm reading The Autograph Man by Zadie Smith in one of my eighty English classes this semester and the first line is as follows:
"He has the ability to imagine himself a minor incident in the lives of others."
We began to talk in class about the idea of being "a minor incident," and I became kind of fixated on the idea. Minor incidents.
We've all been minor incidents in someone's life. The stranger you hold the door for - minor incident. The friend-of-a-friend you talked to at a party once (but then, of course, friended them on Facebook) - minor incident. The intimidating person who grilled you at your job interview - minor incident.
Stuff like that works both ways, too. I'm a minor incident to the stranger and the stranger is a minior incident to me. It cool and kind of weird at the same time.
It also made me think about minor incidents beyond just random people I've encountered. Like, what about the actual incidents? It makes me wonder what exactly matters after all of this is said and done.
In high school there was always something to panic about, you know? I can't memorize this marching band music. I have a calculus test on Friday and I don't know anything about calculus. I left my vocab book at home. Nobody is turning in their stuff for the yearbook. (Yes, marching band AND yearbook - that's how cool I was). The list goes on.
The point is, all of the stuff I was entirely consumed with in high school didn't matter hardly at all in the end. I memorized most of the music (and flubbed my way through the parts I didn't). I probably got a D on that calc test and lived to tell the tale. I'm sure I looked off a friend's vocab book. People did, in fact, eventually turn in their stuff for the yearbook.
But even stuff I wasn't necessarily stressed about turned out to be minor incidents, too. Winning the locker decoration contest. Wondering if Homecomming is really rigged so the seniors always win. Book club meetings over the summer when we all got together to watch movies, eat our weight in salty snacks and gossip. Using thousands of bottles of sunscreen at band camp.
The problem with minor incidents, of course, is that you usually don't know at the time that it's a minor incident. If only we knew that. Then we'd be able to have maybe a different perspective on things.
Although, I suppose it could be argued that life is filled with nothing but minor incidents, you know? Except, of course, for the things that are major incidents like graudations and births and weddings and stuff that's kind of a big deal.
At first I thought it was kind of horrible to think about it that way. For example, anybody who has ever read this blog in the last 3.5 years (so... all three of you) knows that I am heavily involved in APO - the community service fraternity on campus. I spend almost every weekend doing service, I've held a variety of leadership positions, most of my closest friends are from APO... It's been a huge part of my life.
But lately I've been wondering what it amounts to on the outside. I have put all of myself into this thing for a really, really long time, but after I'm gone and graduated, what happens to all that?
Does that make sense?
I'm sure my committments will be otherwise distributed to work or finding work or a whole new organization (likely the Jaycees, should I stick around), but I can't help but fear that all the hard work I've done is a minor incident, too. It'll be a minor incident in chapter history and a minor incident in my life.
In some respects, I don't believe that. Sure, I will definitely be a minor incident in chapter history. No doubt. But in my life? I don't know. Certainly for a while post-graduation it'll still be a big deal, but it'll fade with time, I'm sure. Just like high school did. But maybe only the little things will fade like particular service events I took part in and having the leadership roles and ALL THE DRAMA that went with it (please let that be the first to fade). Maybe other things will stick with me, though. Like the ability to speak easily in front of a group of people. The confidence I gained. My sense of duty and responsibility to my community.
Hopefully those are the things that will stay with me.
I do believe life is made up almost entirely of minor incidents. But I don't think that should stop us from doing or going or caring. "This won't matter ten years from now," isn't a good enough reason not to do something, I don't think. Maybe all these minor incidents are just how we pratice being passionate about something.
And why do we all have to be so focused on the future, anyway? Can't we just have the here and now? Can't we do something because it makes us happy TODAY? Living only for the future seems foolish... and endless, really, if you think about it.
"He has the ability to imagine himself a minor incident in the lives of others."
We began to talk in class about the idea of being "a minor incident," and I became kind of fixated on the idea. Minor incidents.
We've all been minor incidents in someone's life. The stranger you hold the door for - minor incident. The friend-of-a-friend you talked to at a party once (but then, of course, friended them on Facebook) - minor incident. The intimidating person who grilled you at your job interview - minor incident.
Stuff like that works both ways, too. I'm a minor incident to the stranger and the stranger is a minior incident to me. It cool and kind of weird at the same time.
It also made me think about minor incidents beyond just random people I've encountered. Like, what about the actual incidents? It makes me wonder what exactly matters after all of this is said and done.
In high school there was always something to panic about, you know? I can't memorize this marching band music. I have a calculus test on Friday and I don't know anything about calculus. I left my vocab book at home. Nobody is turning in their stuff for the yearbook. (Yes, marching band AND yearbook - that's how cool I was). The list goes on.
The point is, all of the stuff I was entirely consumed with in high school didn't matter hardly at all in the end. I memorized most of the music (and flubbed my way through the parts I didn't). I probably got a D on that calc test and lived to tell the tale. I'm sure I looked off a friend's vocab book. People did, in fact, eventually turn in their stuff for the yearbook.
But even stuff I wasn't necessarily stressed about turned out to be minor incidents, too. Winning the locker decoration contest. Wondering if Homecomming is really rigged so the seniors always win. Book club meetings over the summer when we all got together to watch movies, eat our weight in salty snacks and gossip. Using thousands of bottles of sunscreen at band camp.
The problem with minor incidents, of course, is that you usually don't know at the time that it's a minor incident. If only we knew that. Then we'd be able to have maybe a different perspective on things.
Although, I suppose it could be argued that life is filled with nothing but minor incidents, you know? Except, of course, for the things that are major incidents like graudations and births and weddings and stuff that's kind of a big deal.
At first I thought it was kind of horrible to think about it that way. For example, anybody who has ever read this blog in the last 3.5 years (so... all three of you) knows that I am heavily involved in APO - the community service fraternity on campus. I spend almost every weekend doing service, I've held a variety of leadership positions, most of my closest friends are from APO... It's been a huge part of my life.
But lately I've been wondering what it amounts to on the outside. I have put all of myself into this thing for a really, really long time, but after I'm gone and graduated, what happens to all that?
Does that make sense?
I'm sure my committments will be otherwise distributed to work or finding work or a whole new organization (likely the Jaycees, should I stick around), but I can't help but fear that all the hard work I've done is a minor incident, too. It'll be a minor incident in chapter history and a minor incident in my life.
In some respects, I don't believe that. Sure, I will definitely be a minor incident in chapter history. No doubt. But in my life? I don't know. Certainly for a while post-graduation it'll still be a big deal, but it'll fade with time, I'm sure. Just like high school did. But maybe only the little things will fade like particular service events I took part in and having the leadership roles and ALL THE DRAMA that went with it (please let that be the first to fade). Maybe other things will stick with me, though. Like the ability to speak easily in front of a group of people. The confidence I gained. My sense of duty and responsibility to my community.
Hopefully those are the things that will stay with me.
I do believe life is made up almost entirely of minor incidents. But I don't think that should stop us from doing or going or caring. "This won't matter ten years from now," isn't a good enough reason not to do something, I don't think. Maybe all these minor incidents are just how we pratice being passionate about something.
And why do we all have to be so focused on the future, anyway? Can't we just have the here and now? Can't we do something because it makes us happy TODAY? Living only for the future seems foolish... and endless, really, if you think about it.
Monday, February 22, 2010
83 days and counting
Mood: annoyed >:|
Did you ever have two very separate groups of friends in elementary school? Like they were so different that they didn't get along at all? But you found you liked both groups and were "in" both? So like if you made a ven diagram of these groups you would be that stupid purple section in the middle?
That was me. Kind of a lot, actually. And I always found that that weird purple section made you the messenger in a war zone of sorts. I distinctly remember using phrases like "No, I totally agree with YOU guys. I'm a spy PRETENDING to be on their side," and other stupid stuff like that.
Hey, I'm not proud of it. I was a kid... and stupid... and would avoid confrontation at all costs. Little did I know that I was just stoking the fire of playground drama and confrontation.
Anyway, the point is that the last time I did any of that I was, in fact, on a playground. But now I'm finding myself in the middle, yet again, trying to support two different parties who have chosen to butt heads instead of compromise. Both are equally right. And both are equally stubborn.
And I'm feeling equally as awkward.
The worst part is, of course, that I'm dealing with adults now. So, really, they both deserve slaps upside the head. Maybe they should grow up and start handling the situation like the adults they are.
Until they do, I think I'm going to go hide by the swing set.
Did you ever have two very separate groups of friends in elementary school? Like they were so different that they didn't get along at all? But you found you liked both groups and were "in" both? So like if you made a ven diagram of these groups you would be that stupid purple section in the middle?
That was me. Kind of a lot, actually. And I always found that that weird purple section made you the messenger in a war zone of sorts. I distinctly remember using phrases like "No, I totally agree with YOU guys. I'm a spy PRETENDING to be on their side," and other stupid stuff like that.
Hey, I'm not proud of it. I was a kid... and stupid... and would avoid confrontation at all costs. Little did I know that I was just stoking the fire of playground drama and confrontation.
Anyway, the point is that the last time I did any of that I was, in fact, on a playground. But now I'm finding myself in the middle, yet again, trying to support two different parties who have chosen to butt heads instead of compromise. Both are equally right. And both are equally stubborn.
And I'm feeling equally as awkward.
The worst part is, of course, that I'm dealing with adults now. So, really, they both deserve slaps upside the head. Maybe they should grow up and start handling the situation like the adults they are.
Until they do, I think I'm going to go hide by the swing set.
Sunday, February 21, 2010
84 days and counting
I talked to a friend tonight and realized that one of the biggest factors in what I like to call the Second-Semester Senior Stress Syndrome (I'd like to request a gold star for the alliteration) is CABIN FEVER. Plain and simple.
Generally, I'm the type of person who loves to spend time outside. Over the summer I would go on long walks and explore the area. Or I would just walk to the grocery store or the gas station to get a newspaper or something. It was wonderful.
And fall was just as wonderful. It was cool and bright and the leaves seemed particularly beautiful and I could just meander for hours and take pictures.
Now, however, we're breaking the all-time snowfall record (or something crazy like that) and last time I caught a glimpse of the sidewalk, it was covered up again in only a couple of hours. It hasn't entirely stopped me from going on walks all together, though. But it has shortened them drastically.
So I think a big part of my problem right now is that I'm COOPED UP LIKE A CRAZY PERSON. I bought a bike in November and I haven't been able to ride it at all. And every day I come home and look at my poor bike all ready to go and it makes me sad that I can't go ride it. I have an awesome trail area right near here and I've been a few times to explore it Calvin and Hobbes style, but I want to hop on my bike and just let it take me wherever it goes.
Deep down somewhere I know that winter can't last forever. I know that one day the sun will shine and the birds will chirp and the flowers will bloom and the fireflies will sparkle (goodness, I sure do love the fireflies) and the fields will be green and wonderful and the air will be warm and the days will be long. I know it. But I can't feel it.
I know we have a while left to wait, but in the meantime I'd like to ask God or Mother Nature or Channel 8's John McLaughlin or who ever is in charge of our current situation for just ONE beautiful day to hold me over until spring. PLEASE let the sun shine. PLEASE let the mercury rise over 40. PLEASE leave at least some of the sidewalks clear. If we could do it on a Monday, that would be splendid.
Generally, I'm the type of person who loves to spend time outside. Over the summer I would go on long walks and explore the area. Or I would just walk to the grocery store or the gas station to get a newspaper or something. It was wonderful.
And fall was just as wonderful. It was cool and bright and the leaves seemed particularly beautiful and I could just meander for hours and take pictures.
Now, however, we're breaking the all-time snowfall record (or something crazy like that) and last time I caught a glimpse of the sidewalk, it was covered up again in only a couple of hours. It hasn't entirely stopped me from going on walks all together, though. But it has shortened them drastically.
So I think a big part of my problem right now is that I'm COOPED UP LIKE A CRAZY PERSON. I bought a bike in November and I haven't been able to ride it at all. And every day I come home and look at my poor bike all ready to go and it makes me sad that I can't go ride it. I have an awesome trail area right near here and I've been a few times to explore it Calvin and Hobbes style, but I want to hop on my bike and just let it take me wherever it goes.
Deep down somewhere I know that winter can't last forever. I know that one day the sun will shine and the birds will chirp and the flowers will bloom and the fireflies will sparkle (goodness, I sure do love the fireflies) and the fields will be green and wonderful and the air will be warm and the days will be long. I know it. But I can't feel it.
I know we have a while left to wait, but in the meantime I'd like to ask God or Mother Nature or Channel 8's John McLaughlin or who ever is in charge of our current situation for just ONE beautiful day to hold me over until spring. PLEASE let the sun shine. PLEASE let the mercury rise over 40. PLEASE leave at least some of the sidewalks clear. If we could do it on a Monday, that would be splendid.
Saturday, February 20, 2010
85 days and counting
I have a fundamental problem with college boys.
They're stupid.
Ok, ok. I won't make that blanket statement and suggest that EVERY SINGLE MALE who is currently attending college is a vacuous moron. But I will say that 97% of the ones I've come into contact with absolutely are.
I saw a group of junior boys drawing penises in the snow with sticks. Really? Are you a fourth grader? Is that a bathroom wall? I don't think so.
And just tonight a guy from my high school marching band, someone I haven't spoken to in easily three years, logged on to AIM and sent me a message that said "penis." It was evidently supposed to be some sort of greeting and, in Idiot (a language I'm proud not to be fluent in), it apparenlty translates to "Hey, Meagan! Long time no talk! How are things going for you?" Either way, I didn't respond. In his case it was just astounding to notice that he hadn't changed the least bit since high school.
I just don't understand the male obsession with their own genetalia, I suppose. My roommate would argue that there's some sort of subconcious homoerotic desire stifled by societal norms or something fancy-sounding like that. Maybe that could be it. Or they're just stupid.
I don't think I'm wrong for expecting guys to grow up between high school and the later half of college. No, that doesn't even just apply to guys. That's just all people. Because girls are just as irritating and immature.
And I'm apparently an elitist for putting myself above all that. And that's fine with me, really. I'd rather be haughty than an idiot.
They're stupid.
Ok, ok. I won't make that blanket statement and suggest that EVERY SINGLE MALE who is currently attending college is a vacuous moron. But I will say that 97% of the ones I've come into contact with absolutely are.
I saw a group of junior boys drawing penises in the snow with sticks. Really? Are you a fourth grader? Is that a bathroom wall? I don't think so.
And just tonight a guy from my high school marching band, someone I haven't spoken to in easily three years, logged on to AIM and sent me a message that said "penis." It was evidently supposed to be some sort of greeting and, in Idiot (a language I'm proud not to be fluent in), it apparenlty translates to "Hey, Meagan! Long time no talk! How are things going for you?" Either way, I didn't respond. In his case it was just astounding to notice that he hadn't changed the least bit since high school.
I just don't understand the male obsession with their own genetalia, I suppose. My roommate would argue that there's some sort of subconcious homoerotic desire stifled by societal norms or something fancy-sounding like that. Maybe that could be it. Or they're just stupid.
I don't think I'm wrong for expecting guys to grow up between high school and the later half of college. No, that doesn't even just apply to guys. That's just all people. Because girls are just as irritating and immature.
And I'm apparently an elitist for putting myself above all that. And that's fine with me, really. I'd rather be haughty than an idiot.
Friday, February 19, 2010
86 days and counting
Mood: tired
Goals for this weekend:
Get caught up on school stuff
Make poster calendars so I have a very clear visual of what I have going on
Finish applying for a variety of jobs and internships
Take guinea pig to ARL to get his talons cut
Clean my room
Do laundry
Put away laundry (yes, those have to be two separate goals)
Go to the bank
We'll see.
Oh, I'll also add recover from my panic attack . I don't always panic, you know. Most days I feel pretty normal. But then I'll break and go crazy, which kind of releases it all, and then I can go back to being normal. I think that's OK for the most part. Right? Am I the only person in the world who isn't allowed to go crazy every now and then? Am I the only person in the world who has to have it together all the time?
Goals for this weekend:
Get caught up on school stuff
Make poster calendars so I have a very clear visual of what I have going on
Finish applying for a variety of jobs and internships
Take guinea pig to ARL to get his talons cut
Clean my room
Do laundry
Put away laundry (yes, those have to be two separate goals)
Go to the bank
We'll see.
Oh, I'll also add recover from my panic attack . I don't always panic, you know. Most days I feel pretty normal. But then I'll break and go crazy, which kind of releases it all, and then I can go back to being normal. I think that's OK for the most part. Right? Am I the only person in the world who isn't allowed to go crazy every now and then? Am I the only person in the world who has to have it together all the time?
Thursday, February 18, 2010
87 days and counting
Last week I got a class assignment. Four page paper about the two books we have read so far. I chuckled a little under my breath.
Four pages? Puh-lease. I can write that in my sleep.
Turns out, I CAN'T write it in my sleep. Or when I'm awake for that matter. It took me a grand total of seven hours to write that blasted paper and, frankly, I don't think it's very good.
First of all, I've really moved away from doing the analytical thing the past couple of years. I've been taking classes more on the creative side of writing and going back is difficult. My AP teachers from high school would no doubt be ashamed.
But, more to the point, I feel like I've been trained to be a marathon runner and can no longer compete in sprints (if you'll allow me to use an impressive metaphor that makes me feel like I have killer athletic talent). Seriously. There was a gradual build up over the last three years that took my four-page-paper writing skills and made them 10-15 (or 20 or 25)-page-paper writing skills.
I attempted this four page paper and had barely reached my thesis before I realized I was already two and a half pages in. *Head desk*
In the end I got it done, but I can't feel like there are holes in the argument... mostly where I literally deleted whole paragraphs.
Four pages? Puh-lease. I can write that in my sleep.
Turns out, I CAN'T write it in my sleep. Or when I'm awake for that matter. It took me a grand total of seven hours to write that blasted paper and, frankly, I don't think it's very good.
First of all, I've really moved away from doing the analytical thing the past couple of years. I've been taking classes more on the creative side of writing and going back is difficult. My AP teachers from high school would no doubt be ashamed.
But, more to the point, I feel like I've been trained to be a marathon runner and can no longer compete in sprints (if you'll allow me to use an impressive metaphor that makes me feel like I have killer athletic talent). Seriously. There was a gradual build up over the last three years that took my four-page-paper writing skills and made them 10-15 (or 20 or 25)-page-paper writing skills.
I attempted this four page paper and had barely reached my thesis before I realized I was already two and a half pages in. *Head desk*
In the end I got it done, but I can't feel like there are holes in the argument... mostly where I literally deleted whole paragraphs.
Wednesday, February 17, 2010
88 days and counting
Mood: no idea.
Sometimes I'm afraid that I'm not experiencing life. Actually, I'm afraid of that all the time. As afraid as I am of not finding a full-time job, I think I'm just as afraid of finding one.
I worry that maybe I'll get one and go immediately from hard-working, apathy-fighting college student to hard-working, apathy-fighting, employed adult.
Lately I've been craving some sort of life experience. One day I'm going to be tied down to a desk and a family and, you know what? That sounds pretty awesome. But before all that happens, I want to DO stuff. I want to SEE stuff. I want to HAVE EXPERIENCES.
So many of the adults I see (including recent grads who nabbed a job) just seem... unhappy. They're tired and they're jaded and they're busy... and it makes me sad. I feel tired and jaded and busy, too, but... somehow it seems different.
As frightened as I am of change, I think it's always been reassuring to know when it's coming (more or less). Elementary school ends > CHANGE > middle school ends > CHANGE > high school ends > CHANGE > college ends > CHANGE > something else happens... And then what?
Change has been a pretty predictable thing--scary and hard, too. Don't get me wrong. It wasn't always easy to make those changes, but I guess I just always knew they would have to be made eventually. If I ever got tired of school (never) I could just be like "well, it'll all be over in May 2010."
My roommate and I who are both equally as terrified when it comes to the f*ture (it's the f-word around here) found a volunteer opportunity with the National Parks Service in Hawaii essentially babysitting and monitoring endangered sea turtle eggs. I couple of months in Hawaii hiking to this remote egg-laying site and watching them.
We were totally on board with this plan until we found out that we'd have to trap and kill animal predators. That turned us off.
But do you get it? Do you understand? I want to have life experiences like that before I get tied down to stuff...
Eloquent, I know.
Sometimes I'm afraid that I'm not experiencing life. Actually, I'm afraid of that all the time. As afraid as I am of not finding a full-time job, I think I'm just as afraid of finding one.
I worry that maybe I'll get one and go immediately from hard-working, apathy-fighting college student to hard-working, apathy-fighting, employed adult.
Lately I've been craving some sort of life experience. One day I'm going to be tied down to a desk and a family and, you know what? That sounds pretty awesome. But before all that happens, I want to DO stuff. I want to SEE stuff. I want to HAVE EXPERIENCES.
So many of the adults I see (including recent grads who nabbed a job) just seem... unhappy. They're tired and they're jaded and they're busy... and it makes me sad. I feel tired and jaded and busy, too, but... somehow it seems different.
As frightened as I am of change, I think it's always been reassuring to know when it's coming (more or less). Elementary school ends > CHANGE > middle school ends > CHANGE > high school ends > CHANGE > college ends > CHANGE > something else happens... And then what?
Change has been a pretty predictable thing--scary and hard, too. Don't get me wrong. It wasn't always easy to make those changes, but I guess I just always knew they would have to be made eventually. If I ever got tired of school (never) I could just be like "well, it'll all be over in May 2010."
My roommate and I who are both equally as terrified when it comes to the f*ture (it's the f-word around here) found a volunteer opportunity with the National Parks Service in Hawaii essentially babysitting and monitoring endangered sea turtle eggs. I couple of months in Hawaii hiking to this remote egg-laying site and watching them.
We were totally on board with this plan until we found out that we'd have to trap and kill animal predators. That turned us off.
But do you get it? Do you understand? I want to have life experiences like that before I get tied down to stuff...
Eloquent, I know.
Tuesday, February 16, 2010
89 days and counting
Mood: Confused :/
Something is wrong this semester. I seem perfectly happy and content... but something is still wrong. I can't focus on anything; I'm slipping on class assignments; I become distracted by EVERYTHING... and I'm easily distracted to begin with.
Where is the magical reset button in my brain that will help me pull it together for the next 89 days? Can I get a doctor to open up my head and play around with stuff in there?
When I was a freshman, I felt like my brain was a huge pile of tacks. So, basically, sharp and useful (because tacks are useful). Now it feels like a wet sock. More like heavy and dumb.
Something is wrong this semester. I seem perfectly happy and content... but something is still wrong. I can't focus on anything; I'm slipping on class assignments; I become distracted by EVERYTHING... and I'm easily distracted to begin with.
Where is the magical reset button in my brain that will help me pull it together for the next 89 days? Can I get a doctor to open up my head and play around with stuff in there?
When I was a freshman, I felt like my brain was a huge pile of tacks. So, basically, sharp and useful (because tacks are useful). Now it feels like a wet sock. More like heavy and dumb.
Monday, February 15, 2010
90 days and counting
The Olympics make me feel really badly about myself. I love to watch and everything but, goodness, I can't help but feel like I haven't accomplished much of anything.
Sunday, February 14, 2010
91 days and counting
As someone who finds themselves single, I can honestly tell you that Valentine's Day doesn't make me bitter. I truly, honestly don't feel jealousy or anger... I don't double up on my dose of loneliness... none of that. It's stupid. Why should a made-up holiday make me feel excessively depressed about my relationship status?
I found a stupid Facebook application that randomly generates five Valentines for you and I decided to give it a shot.
The first two are gay, and the second is twice my age.
Number three is a boy named Danny. He's tall and has red hair and I asked him to senior prom in high school. He also got engaged last week. Awesome.
Number four is a guy who used to be a pretty close friend of mine but we "broke up" so to speak. Burn, Facebook. Burn.
And number five? Well... let's just say I certainly wouldn't mind ;)
I found a stupid Facebook application that randomly generates five Valentines for you and I decided to give it a shot.
The first two are gay, and the second is twice my age.
Number three is a boy named Danny. He's tall and has red hair and I asked him to senior prom in high school. He also got engaged last week. Awesome.
Number four is a guy who used to be a pretty close friend of mine but we "broke up" so to speak. Burn, Facebook. Burn.
And number five? Well... let's just say I certainly wouldn't mind ;)
Saturday, February 13, 2010
92 days and counting
Mood: thoughtful s:|
"As we grow up, we learn that even the one person that wasn't supposed to ever let you down probably will. You will have your heart broken probably more than once and it's harder every time. You'll break hearts too, so remember how it felt when yours was broken. You'll fight with your best friend. You'll blame a new love for things an old one did. You'll cry because time is passing too fast, and you'll eventually lose someone you love. So take too many pictures, laugh too much, and love like you've never been hurt because every sixty seconds you spend upset is a minute of happiness you'll never get back. Don't be afraid that your life will end, be afraid that it will never begin."
I have no idea where this came from. It's just floating around the internet like a sage (and maybe a bit cliche) phantom of wisdom and warning.
It caught my attention today and it's all I can think about.
"As we grow up, we learn that even the one person that wasn't supposed to ever let you down probably will. You will have your heart broken probably more than once and it's harder every time. You'll break hearts too, so remember how it felt when yours was broken. You'll fight with your best friend. You'll blame a new love for things an old one did. You'll cry because time is passing too fast, and you'll eventually lose someone you love. So take too many pictures, laugh too much, and love like you've never been hurt because every sixty seconds you spend upset is a minute of happiness you'll never get back. Don't be afraid that your life will end, be afraid that it will never begin."
I have no idea where this came from. It's just floating around the internet like a sage (and maybe a bit cliche) phantom of wisdom and warning.
It caught my attention today and it's all I can think about.
Friday, February 12, 2010
93 days and counting
Mood: Relieved :)
Tonight I went out to dinner with a friend. Her roommate is out of town visiting her boy in Chicago, and my roommate was occupied with a boy of her own, so we decided to take our single selves out and enjoy being in the presence of someone that doesn't make us want to vomit.
Pow-wows with this friend can last hours and hours and hours. I think our longest dinner outing was 6 hours. This one was only four.
I don't mind, though. We always have plenty to talk about.
She graduated from Drake last year and is in grad school now (also at Drake). I like talking to recent grads because I need to know what it's like on the outside. Adults can't give me that kind of information, I find. Mostly because they've been out for years and years and years, and can't relate all that well.
Anyway, we talked about pretty much everything from being absolutely, totally, 100% a-OK with being single (makes you wonder who we're trying to convince, right?) to the epic struggle of trying to find our place in the adult world. Deep.
Talking to her I became grateful that I know of at least one other person who is as conflicted as I am on a daily basis. I live in the world of pros and cons. I lay awake in bed at night, staring at the ceiling, mind racing with "Well, on on hand that would be good because..." and "On the other hand, though..."
It would be good to ask that boy out because maybe then you can date him... but do you really want to strike up a relationship when you have really tough decisions to make about your future? Won't he just interfere with that?
It would be good to stay in Iowa because you'll be making a lot of adjustments in your post-graduation life, so it'll be nice to have something that stays constant... but you came out here on a whim, didn't you? So maybe you'll love it somewhere else. Where's your sense of adventure? You should take advantage now while you're not tied down.
I'm so happy for my roommate; she's finally engaged... but I feel like my face is being rubbed in their relationship and I'm usually a third wheel in my own apartment.
All I've ever wanted to be is a writer. Let's look for jobs in writing... but the industry is bad, maybe we should put it on the back burner and pursue other options.
If I go to Burger King, I can get a cheeseburger... but you'll have to spend money and you said you'd save.
You can do anything you want... but what happens when you don't have the opportunity?
Let's look for jobs in Australia... but they have really big spiders there.
It never ends. But it's at least reassuring to know that I'm not the only one.
Tonight I went out to dinner with a friend. Her roommate is out of town visiting her boy in Chicago, and my roommate was occupied with a boy of her own, so we decided to take our single selves out and enjoy being in the presence of someone that doesn't make us want to vomit.
Pow-wows with this friend can last hours and hours and hours. I think our longest dinner outing was 6 hours. This one was only four.
I don't mind, though. We always have plenty to talk about.
She graduated from Drake last year and is in grad school now (also at Drake). I like talking to recent grads because I need to know what it's like on the outside. Adults can't give me that kind of information, I find. Mostly because they've been out for years and years and years, and can't relate all that well.
Anyway, we talked about pretty much everything from being absolutely, totally, 100% a-OK with being single (makes you wonder who we're trying to convince, right?) to the epic struggle of trying to find our place in the adult world. Deep.
Talking to her I became grateful that I know of at least one other person who is as conflicted as I am on a daily basis. I live in the world of pros and cons. I lay awake in bed at night, staring at the ceiling, mind racing with "Well, on on hand that would be good because..." and "On the other hand, though..."
It would be good to ask that boy out because maybe then you can date him... but do you really want to strike up a relationship when you have really tough decisions to make about your future? Won't he just interfere with that?
It would be good to stay in Iowa because you'll be making a lot of adjustments in your post-graduation life, so it'll be nice to have something that stays constant... but you came out here on a whim, didn't you? So maybe you'll love it somewhere else. Where's your sense of adventure? You should take advantage now while you're not tied down.
I'm so happy for my roommate; she's finally engaged... but I feel like my face is being rubbed in their relationship and I'm usually a third wheel in my own apartment.
All I've ever wanted to be is a writer. Let's look for jobs in writing... but the industry is bad, maybe we should put it on the back burner and pursue other options.
If I go to Burger King, I can get a cheeseburger... but you'll have to spend money and you said you'd save.
You can do anything you want... but what happens when you don't have the opportunity?
Let's look for jobs in Australia... but they have really big spiders there.
It never ends. But it's at least reassuring to know that I'm not the only one.
Thursday, February 11, 2010
94 days and counting
Mood: Sad :(
Today a friend of mine heard that someone close to him died in Afghanistan. He was mortally wounded while trying to rescue another hurt soldier.
It's all sorts of horrible to think about. I think about the people in the armed forces kind of a lot. I always wonder what war is like. And how scary it is to be there. And how much scarier it is to have that be normal. To not think about it anymore and just go about your day-to-day.
In the warmer months I like to go to the cemetery about once a month and feed bread to the ducks and fish. At first I thought it was weird to wake up early on a beautiful Saturday and dress nicely just to hang out at the cemetery, but I actually really enjoyed it. Whether or not that justifies the weirdness, I don't know.
After I run out of bread, I like to walk around the part of the cemetery with the military graves and pay my respects. I used to do the math and figure out how old they all were when they made the ultimate sacrifice to their country, but after finding dozens that were my age or younger, I found I could barely control myself from sobbing uncontrollably.
But I always go there and see them. I like to say that I'm "going to visit the soldiers." It just helps me take a giant step back from my own life and petty drama and take a time-out from stressing and instead give thanks and count my blessings.
Today a friend of mine heard that someone close to him died in Afghanistan. He was mortally wounded while trying to rescue another hurt soldier.
It's all sorts of horrible to think about. I think about the people in the armed forces kind of a lot. I always wonder what war is like. And how scary it is to be there. And how much scarier it is to have that be normal. To not think about it anymore and just go about your day-to-day.
In the warmer months I like to go to the cemetery about once a month and feed bread to the ducks and fish. At first I thought it was weird to wake up early on a beautiful Saturday and dress nicely just to hang out at the cemetery, but I actually really enjoyed it. Whether or not that justifies the weirdness, I don't know.
After I run out of bread, I like to walk around the part of the cemetery with the military graves and pay my respects. I used to do the math and figure out how old they all were when they made the ultimate sacrifice to their country, but after finding dozens that were my age or younger, I found I could barely control myself from sobbing uncontrollably.
But I always go there and see them. I like to say that I'm "going to visit the soldiers." It just helps me take a giant step back from my own life and petty drama and take a time-out from stressing and instead give thanks and count my blessings.
Wednesday, February 10, 2010
95 days and counting
Mood: content
I've been hearing the phrase "no promises" lately all over the place. Not just to me, either. I've just been hearing it around.
Can we hang out this weekend? No promises.
Do you think there will be any openings? No promises.
Are you coming to see me? No promises.
To be honest, I'm glad people aren't making me promises. Promises suck. Because then I'll get all excited and be like "Oh, well, they promised." And then, inevitably, nothing comes to be from those promises and I'm left feeling burned and angry.
So, actually, I'm not looking for promises. I'm not that stupid. In a perfect world we could actually commit to each other and have giving someone our word be some sort of sacred bond that is in some way significant to both parties... but it's not like that at all. We live in a world that's much too busy and much too tired for that.
Instead, we deal in "maybe"s and hope that that'll be good enough for someone. But sometimes that's just as frustrating.
Hm.
I've been hearing the phrase "no promises" lately all over the place. Not just to me, either. I've just been hearing it around.
Can we hang out this weekend? No promises.
Do you think there will be any openings? No promises.
Are you coming to see me? No promises.
To be honest, I'm glad people aren't making me promises. Promises suck. Because then I'll get all excited and be like "Oh, well, they promised." And then, inevitably, nothing comes to be from those promises and I'm left feeling burned and angry.
So, actually, I'm not looking for promises. I'm not that stupid. In a perfect world we could actually commit to each other and have giving someone our word be some sort of sacred bond that is in some way significant to both parties... but it's not like that at all. We live in a world that's much too busy and much too tired for that.
Instead, we deal in "maybe"s and hope that that'll be good enough for someone. But sometimes that's just as frustrating.
Hm.
96 days and counting
Mood: annoyed >:|
When I was little, my teacher told me that the world revolved around a swirling ball of fire in space and that without it, we'd die.
Well, I was young then and stupid to believe her. 15 years later, I'm seeing very little evidence of this mystical fireball that supposedly helps to sustain life on the planet.
I don't know what Iowa did to piss off the sun so badly, but I'd like to personally apologize.
Heck, I even like the snow. No, I LOVE the snow. I am snow's biggest fan. Even when I'm surrounded by haters, my love prevails. I'm out, loud and proud in my love for snow. But this... this has absolutely got to stop.
In four years I've experienced record-breaking snowfall and flooding. I've had enough of bizarre weather phenomena, thankyouverymuch.
And, naturally, I picked this year to move off campus, meaning I have to commute each morning in the bitter cold after I pick solid sheets of ice off of my car. That's always the best part, I think. Luckily, I get to do it more than once a day because new ice likely accumulated while I was in class.
As a second-semester senior, I can honestly say I don't need additional reasons to want to skip classes. I don't need any other motivation-killing factors to prevent me from going to school. I have plenty of those. The position has been filled. No longer accepting applications.
So, snow, thank you for your interest, but you can clear out now. Best of luck to you on your other endeavors.
When I was little, my teacher told me that the world revolved around a swirling ball of fire in space and that without it, we'd die.
Well, I was young then and stupid to believe her. 15 years later, I'm seeing very little evidence of this mystical fireball that supposedly helps to sustain life on the planet.
I don't know what Iowa did to piss off the sun so badly, but I'd like to personally apologize.
Heck, I even like the snow. No, I LOVE the snow. I am snow's biggest fan. Even when I'm surrounded by haters, my love prevails. I'm out, loud and proud in my love for snow. But this... this has absolutely got to stop.
In four years I've experienced record-breaking snowfall and flooding. I've had enough of bizarre weather phenomena, thankyouverymuch.
And, naturally, I picked this year to move off campus, meaning I have to commute each morning in the bitter cold after I pick solid sheets of ice off of my car. That's always the best part, I think. Luckily, I get to do it more than once a day because new ice likely accumulated while I was in class.
As a second-semester senior, I can honestly say I don't need additional reasons to want to skip classes. I don't need any other motivation-killing factors to prevent me from going to school. I have plenty of those. The position has been filled. No longer accepting applications.
So, snow, thank you for your interest, but you can clear out now. Best of luck to you on your other endeavors.
Monday, February 8, 2010
97 days and counting
Mood: Happy :)
As a second-semester senior, I have a lot of stress in my life. May 17th is nothing but a giant question mark right now. And it's probably going to stay that way for quite some time.
That being the case, I decided recently that I have absolutely no room in my life for additional stress. So I'm cutting it all out. I quit my job, I got some closure on an old friendship, I cleaned out my closet and organized a bunch of school stuff.
It sounds like it's just a string of little things, but they add up to be a pretty big deal. We have a lot of jobs and responsibilities in life, but I like to think that my first priority is to be happy and feel good about myself at the end of the day and if little stuff like that helps, then I'd be stupid not to do it.
The less stressed and cluttered my life is, the easier it is for me to focus on things that matter. Magical, right?
As a second-semester senior, I have a lot of stress in my life. May 17th is nothing but a giant question mark right now. And it's probably going to stay that way for quite some time.
That being the case, I decided recently that I have absolutely no room in my life for additional stress. So I'm cutting it all out. I quit my job, I got some closure on an old friendship, I cleaned out my closet and organized a bunch of school stuff.
It sounds like it's just a string of little things, but they add up to be a pretty big deal. We have a lot of jobs and responsibilities in life, but I like to think that my first priority is to be happy and feel good about myself at the end of the day and if little stuff like that helps, then I'd be stupid not to do it.
The less stressed and cluttered my life is, the easier it is for me to focus on things that matter. Magical, right?
Sunday, February 7, 2010
98 days and counting
Mood: content :)
It's easy for me to panic. I can't help it sometimes. I've gotten progressively better, though. In high school it felt like my whole world was ending about twice a week.
But lately, despite the fact that my impending graduation is inching closer and my plans for May 17th aren't even starting to shape up, I can't help but feel like everything is totally ok.
I was rereading my blog a while ago and realized that so much has changed in 3.5 years just at school. I'm not at all the same person.
Coming to college meant that everything changed. And it was really exciting. So many good things came from it, right? Right.
So why should I fear this change? Why should I doubt my ability to adapt again?
Sometimes I feel like that's just a waste of time. I can do anything I want. The world is my playground and I've had too many pixie sticks.
It's kind of a great feeling.
It's easy for me to panic. I can't help it sometimes. I've gotten progressively better, though. In high school it felt like my whole world was ending about twice a week.
But lately, despite the fact that my impending graduation is inching closer and my plans for May 17th aren't even starting to shape up, I can't help but feel like everything is totally ok.
I was rereading my blog a while ago and realized that so much has changed in 3.5 years just at school. I'm not at all the same person.
Coming to college meant that everything changed. And it was really exciting. So many good things came from it, right? Right.
So why should I fear this change? Why should I doubt my ability to adapt again?
Sometimes I feel like that's just a waste of time. I can do anything I want. The world is my playground and I've had too many pixie sticks.
It's kind of a great feeling.
99 days and counting
I spend most of my weekends volunteering all over the city. It's fun because I meet a lot of new people and I get to see more of Des Moines... and I get to go to really cool events for free and can usually spend a little extra time after my volunteer shift hanging out and milling around the place.
Today was skywalk golf, a fundraiser for Des Moines to help have more free events in the city. I'm a big fan of free events. Probably because I'm poor.
Anyway, all these sponsors come they each get one hole to decorate mini-golf style, effectively covering all 3+ miles of the Des Moines skywalk system. It's pretty awesome, actually.
I volunteered at the ARL hole, which was an intricate design made of dog biscuits. All the golfers liked to saunter up to the hole and make all the same jokes that the last golfers made. "Heh, heh. Looks like someone's hungry. They took a bite out of that one." And "too bad I didn't bring my dog. He'd clear out all these bones and give me a straight shot." And "If I get a hole in one, do I get a free puppy?"
I laughed on the outside and rolled my eyes on the inside. Most of the golfers were older gentleman who had already enjoyed an adult beverage or two or three by the time they got to our hole. And my shift ended at noon, so they started a little early.
My favorite, though, was a man dressed as Elvis who was walking around with a posse of pink ladies. The took requests, apparently, and performed "Hound Dog" for us (while swing dancing with another volunteer.)
He then proceeded to hand me a couple of dollars for a donation for the ARL and slap my butt as he walked away.
Today was skywalk golf, a fundraiser for Des Moines to help have more free events in the city. I'm a big fan of free events. Probably because I'm poor.
Anyway, all these sponsors come they each get one hole to decorate mini-golf style, effectively covering all 3+ miles of the Des Moines skywalk system. It's pretty awesome, actually.
I volunteered at the ARL hole, which was an intricate design made of dog biscuits. All the golfers liked to saunter up to the hole and make all the same jokes that the last golfers made. "Heh, heh. Looks like someone's hungry. They took a bite out of that one." And "too bad I didn't bring my dog. He'd clear out all these bones and give me a straight shot." And "If I get a hole in one, do I get a free puppy?"
I laughed on the outside and rolled my eyes on the inside. Most of the golfers were older gentleman who had already enjoyed an adult beverage or two or three by the time they got to our hole. And my shift ended at noon, so they started a little early.
My favorite, though, was a man dressed as Elvis who was walking around with a posse of pink ladies. The took requests, apparently, and performed "Hound Dog" for us (while swing dancing with another volunteer.)
He then proceeded to hand me a couple of dollars for a donation for the ARL and slap my butt as he walked away.
Friday, February 5, 2010
100 days and counting
Fanfare, please.
I learned to count! Today is officially 100 days until graduation. Yikes.
I think I'll start each post with my mood. So...
Mood: Oddly optimistic.
__________
I hate networking events. Well, I do and I don't. Great opportunity? Yes. Do I feel like a good-for-nothing poser when I go? Absolutely.
There's just something so fake about a room full of people networking. It just feels unnatural and so forced and expected. Schmoozers and phonies.
On the other hand, it's wonderful when you make a connection completely out of the blue. When it happens kind of organically it feels more real. Like you're not just collecting business cards for your own selfish aims.
I spent this afternoon emailing back and forth with a woman at the animal shelter. I signed up for a volunteer event and noticed her name sounded familiar. She used to work in my department before moving to the shelter, so I struck up a conversation with her about her job.
She told me all about how rewarding it is to work for a non-profit and actually feel good about the work she's doing. It was really inspiring, actually. I've been looking into the non-profit thing a lot lately and I was encouraged by the things she told me.
She also gave me good guidance about where to look and who to contact about possible openings.
Today I found out that one of the professional doors in my life will likely be closing soon. And after talking to this lady, I feel like it's a blessing in disguise, really. It's not exactly a closed-door-open-window scenario, but I'm at least looking into other windows, and that's a start.
I could feel down, but I think it's just that the winds are changing and for the first time in a long, long time, I feel less tired, less jaded, and, dare I say it, motivated.
I learned to count! Today is officially 100 days until graduation. Yikes.
I think I'll start each post with my mood. So...
Mood: Oddly optimistic.
__________
I hate networking events. Well, I do and I don't. Great opportunity? Yes. Do I feel like a good-for-nothing poser when I go? Absolutely.
There's just something so fake about a room full of people networking. It just feels unnatural and so forced and expected. Schmoozers and phonies.
On the other hand, it's wonderful when you make a connection completely out of the blue. When it happens kind of organically it feels more real. Like you're not just collecting business cards for your own selfish aims.
I spent this afternoon emailing back and forth with a woman at the animal shelter. I signed up for a volunteer event and noticed her name sounded familiar. She used to work in my department before moving to the shelter, so I struck up a conversation with her about her job.
She told me all about how rewarding it is to work for a non-profit and actually feel good about the work she's doing. It was really inspiring, actually. I've been looking into the non-profit thing a lot lately and I was encouraged by the things she told me.
She also gave me good guidance about where to look and who to contact about possible openings.
Today I found out that one of the professional doors in my life will likely be closing soon. And after talking to this lady, I feel like it's a blessing in disguise, really. It's not exactly a closed-door-open-window scenario, but I'm at least looking into other windows, and that's a start.
I could feel down, but I think it's just that the winds are changing and for the first time in a long, long time, I feel less tired, less jaded, and, dare I say it, motivated.
Wednesday, February 3, 2010
The Neighbors
Back in, I dunno, October or so, the guy who lived directly across the hall from me moved out of his apartment because part of his ceiling caved in.
Seriously.
We were having pretty cray rains and his living room wall was just a waterfall. It was ridiculous. I saw it for myself.
Anyway, I was a big fan of Mr. 71. He seemed to drink a lot, but was really quiet about it so I didn't mind. And he came and went at weird hours so I never really had awkward confrontations with him in the hallway. He kept to himself and had a cute kitty and he was everything a neighbor should be.
But he moved to a different unit in a different building after his roof mishap and the apartment has been empty ever since.
Which has been nice, really. My roommate and I have our end of the hall all to ourselves.
At least, we did. Until yesterday.
Yesterday new tenants moved in and I already don't like them. I saw them and they struck me as shady and my roommate agreed. We just don't know what, exactly, is shady about them. We can't put our fingers on it at all. And it's horrible because it makes me feel like a judgmental jerk.
But they moved in anyway and I realized that I've become kind of defensive of my building. I don't much care for the people who live in it, but they're apart of it just as I'm apart of it and I see new people as kind of intruders for some reason. And I don't get it.
I always had this fantastic idea of living in an apartment and being super buddy-buddy with the neighbors and hanging out at each others' places and stuff, but it's really nothing like that at all. My life is not an episode of Friends. Imagine that.
It's mostly families that live in my building, so maybe that has something to do with it. But still, I find I really don't like even running into them in passing on my way in or out.
Anyway, I feel awkward especially now with the new neighbors because they're like RIGHT THERE. Like across the hall. I've never really lived directly across the hall from anybody before. It's weird and I don't like it.
And, here's the icing on the cake, the shady new neighbors have a dog. I haven't seen it, but I heard it and it's a smallish dog that only takes a break from yapping its head off when it whines about something.
Sigh.
Seriously.
We were having pretty cray rains and his living room wall was just a waterfall. It was ridiculous. I saw it for myself.
Anyway, I was a big fan of Mr. 71. He seemed to drink a lot, but was really quiet about it so I didn't mind. And he came and went at weird hours so I never really had awkward confrontations with him in the hallway. He kept to himself and had a cute kitty and he was everything a neighbor should be.
But he moved to a different unit in a different building after his roof mishap and the apartment has been empty ever since.
Which has been nice, really. My roommate and I have our end of the hall all to ourselves.
At least, we did. Until yesterday.
Yesterday new tenants moved in and I already don't like them. I saw them and they struck me as shady and my roommate agreed. We just don't know what, exactly, is shady about them. We can't put our fingers on it at all. And it's horrible because it makes me feel like a judgmental jerk.
But they moved in anyway and I realized that I've become kind of defensive of my building. I don't much care for the people who live in it, but they're apart of it just as I'm apart of it and I see new people as kind of intruders for some reason. And I don't get it.
I always had this fantastic idea of living in an apartment and being super buddy-buddy with the neighbors and hanging out at each others' places and stuff, but it's really nothing like that at all. My life is not an episode of Friends. Imagine that.
It's mostly families that live in my building, so maybe that has something to do with it. But still, I find I really don't like even running into them in passing on my way in or out.
Anyway, I feel awkward especially now with the new neighbors because they're like RIGHT THERE. Like across the hall. I've never really lived directly across the hall from anybody before. It's weird and I don't like it.
And, here's the icing on the cake, the shady new neighbors have a dog. I haven't seen it, but I heard it and it's a smallish dog that only takes a break from yapping its head off when it whines about something.
Sigh.
1, 2, 3, 4...
Ok, so... now that I've spread the word about this 100-day business and today officially kicks that off, it came to my attention that there are, in fact 102 days until graduation.
GAH!
I REALLY wanted to cut off one of those links, too.
Anywho, we'll try this again on FRIDAY when it's ACTUALLY 100 days until graduation. Maybe I can use the extra two days to learn how to count.
GAH!
I REALLY wanted to cut off one of those links, too.
Anywho, we'll try this again on FRIDAY when it's ACTUALLY 100 days until graduation. Maybe I can use the extra two days to learn how to count.
Tuesday, February 2, 2010
Intro!
Alrighty. Soooo. Tomorrow officially starts my 100-day blog blitz. One blog every day for the last 100 days of college.
For my regular readers like my dad and my boss (friends don't even stop by anymore *sniff*), you'll notice the new thing going on in the header of the page. That image is part of a paper chain with 100 links which is currently hanging over the entry to my kitchen like an ominous garland reminding me, in case I forgot, that my Drake days are numbered.
Here's a pic:
For my regular readers like my dad and my boss (friends don't even stop by anymore *sniff*), you'll notice the new thing going on in the header of the page. That image is part of a paper chain with 100 links which is currently hanging over the entry to my kitchen like an ominous garland reminding me, in case I forgot, that my Drake days are numbered.
Here's a pic:
Monday, February 1, 2010
Turning the Page...
I realized toward the end of last semester that I've blogged rather consistently through my entire college experience. That's almost four years... so... kind of awesome. But obviously that's going to end soon and I thought since a new chapter of my life would be starting, it would only be appropriate to start a new blog, too.
So I did. And you can see it HERE. I wanted to get it up and running before I linked to it and I wanted it to be well-established by the time I give this blog up.
Some posts are Drake-related, some aren't. Some (most) are just ramblings and rants because it's my blog and that's where they go. Spread the word if you'd like. It's been kind of secretive and the only hits have been from me and my dad, so... yeah... I'd appreciate a reader or two who isn't related to me ;)
So I did. And you can see it HERE. I wanted to get it up and running before I linked to it and I wanted it to be well-established by the time I give this blog up.
Some posts are Drake-related, some aren't. Some (most) are just ramblings and rants because it's my blog and that's where they go. Spread the word if you'd like. It's been kind of secretive and the only hits have been from me and my dad, so... yeah... I'd appreciate a reader or two who isn't related to me ;)
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