On my graduation...

Mood: accomplished
Happy thought: the end

Today I graduated. Today. I. Graduated. The words look weird on the page. They sound weird to say out loud.

It's just not real yet. I mean, I was there and everything. I walked across the stage, shook some hands, got a diploma cover (with a borderline-menacing letter inside telling me that even though I was able to participate in the ceremony, that doesn't necessarily mean I graduated), had my picture taken, hugged people like I'd never see them again...

So it definitely happened. It just doesn't feel like it did. I mean, how does something you've spent 18 years doing just... end? And what do you do with yourself after it does?

I don't know the answer, but I'm looking forward to finding out.

At graduation someone gave a speech full of extended metaphors and encouraging words about having faith and conviction and the other pretty typical graduation stuff. Not that it wasn't a good speech, of course.

Of the ten minutes or so he was speaking, he briefly told us to "stay brave." The phrasing struck me.

STAY brave. Not BE brave.

I admittedly tuned out the rest of his speech and began to ponder the difference and, more importantly, how it applied to the current situation.

It didn't take me long to realize that I much prefer the idea of staying brave, because it means we already have the bravery. I never thought of it before, but we DO already have bravery.

Leaving home was brave, presenting in front of class is brave, standing up for things we believe in is brave, speaking up is brave, stepping back is brave, taking responsibility of our own lives is brave, living independently is brave, being true to ourselves is brave...

The list of things that require bravery goes on and on. And that's really cool. You know why? Because every single one of us has done at least one of those things in our twenty-something years.

Bravery is not a trait we need to worry ourselves about acquiring post-graduation. We've always had it. It is not something we have to GET, rather it is something we have to USE.

Sometimes, I know (believe me) it's hard to remember that it's even there at all. So remind yourself. Remind yourself A LOT if that's what it takes, because I have a feeling it's going to be your most powerful tool.

You don't have to sacrifice fear or doubt for the sake of bravery, because the world is scary and unknown - that's a scientific fact. I think to pretend it isn't would be a lie.

So I think what me must do is stand up proudly (preferably on something tall - perhaps a mountain or picnic table... or a picnic table ON a mountain) and say "World, you're a scary place and I'm terrified of you, but I have some pretty awesome plans and I won't let you interfere with them."